I think it's more than obvious that any of these things I'm feeling now where part of the 'plan'.. Anyway.. what plan? life is hard, pretending is hard, faking all the time is hard.. i'm tired, bored, exhausted and it still a long long way. Sometimes I think about how long and I just want to give up cause it doesnt have much sense to me, not at all.. I feel like Im in the very wrong place of hearth or world or human being, I feel like I dont belong here any how, it's definitely weird but it's how I feel.. which it''s pretty funny too, cause by the way.. I've got no idea about 'how I feel' right now.. or maybe I do.. I perfectly do, yeap.
I don't know, I dont even want to think anymore cause its annoying, just smile and wait.. I hate myself so bad.. how lame is it?
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